he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
