bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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