As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
