so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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