is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
