she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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