dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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