I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
