IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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