But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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