On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
