please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize