We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
