The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize