with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You are the jesus of drinking
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
