Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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