Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
