Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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