No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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