I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
