Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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