Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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