it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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