she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Green mimosas i think yes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
