....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
