There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
