We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
