all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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