oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
