Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
