I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
