Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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(707): View more from California

there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?

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(614): View more from Ohio

She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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(916): View more from California

Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.

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(561): View more from Florida

She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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(905): View more from Ontario

So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.

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