Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
