ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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