i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
