Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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