Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
