I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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