Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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