Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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