i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
