I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
