wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
