in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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