Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
there is puke in my bra ... again
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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