16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
