..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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