I love black thongs
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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