I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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