I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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