Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
