I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There r osticjed everywhere
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
