He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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