I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
