Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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