I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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