Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
