I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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