I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize