No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
