Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
